I Wish That I Could Be Like A Cool Kid.

 People are REALISTIC.

Just that it is out of my expectation that it could be so mean to that extend.

UNFAIR TREATMENT.

I agree with the sentence ' different people different treatment' but my case is slightly more than the meaning of this sentence.

I'm not sure whether this is so called jealousy or normal reaction but I really mind.

 It's super obvious that my existence isn't important when the 'special' one is there. 

Is it because I'm not a pretty girl?

or

Is it because I'm fat?

Whatever the 'special' one says will always correct while my words mostly will be NONSENSE to them.

Seriously I'm so clueless about this.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

I'm not saying that they treat me badly, in fact quite well just that whenever decision is made it must be because of the 'special' one wanted it to be.

While me? 

Social night gave me super clear image of this bias treatment, when I asked is there anyone interested in joining this event everyone response will be like ' no need to study for coming exam?' .Okay that's fine but when the 'special' one asked the same question some of them will join. 

WTH ?

This isn't happen for weeks or months time but since the very beginning. 

I survived because I drawn my attention to Tyler instead of keep thinking why I've been treated differently.

I just don't know why? 

I hate myself for having this kind of mind thought but I just cant control, the feeling keep appearing.

Actually they do treat me quite well if I dont compare. 

Maybe I should be thankful with what I have and stop comparing.

I wish I could continue ignoring this kind of bias treatment till I graduate.

Someone told me  ' dont give opinion/suggestion when they dont appreciate it'.

I'm happy that I still have this ' someone ' to listen to me whenever I'm down. 

He is super kind, even if I told him I'm alright he will still insist to listen my story and help me out.

I appreciate him alot and mostly I feel better after talking to him.

Maybe he seems more experience than me.

We're just FRIENDS. 

Besides, I'm so touched with the phone call that I received .

We talked for about one and half hours. 

Someone who I can cried out my heart and telling the whole problem to.

Its so comfy to talk to her because she understands me well.

 Really really thanks for the call. 

I still like my university friends alot. 

They helped me alot especially when hiking and in study.

I hope one day you guys could appreciate my existence more than now. 

Just a little more.